Sometimes I feel like I don't really know WHY I am here, and WHAT I am supposed to be doing.
Ever since I was a little girl, I have aspired to be a mother. I have never really had big dreams to have a career, I have just wanted to have babies, and be able to stay at home with them. Well, now I have that, but I don't feel content. Why? I have everything I have always wanted. A house, a husband, and 4 beautiful children. I am even so blessed to be able to stay at home with them. So why am I not happy? Why does it not seem like 'enough'? Why am I always searching for more? I have a wonderful picture in my mind of how I want to be completely fulfilled in my role as a stay-at-home-mom, but for some reason I don't feel that way. Why? Am I supposed to be doing something more? Will I feel fulfilled with one more baby? Or will I still feel like something is missing?
2 comments:
Jenn~
I am just like you. All I ever wanted was to be a Mom...I am also like you in that I always seem to want MORE. Im not sure what that says about me...I think that the way I imagined being a SAHM is nothing like it really is. And Im only good at the Mom part, not the cooking or cleaning or WIFE part! I wish I could help or offer words of wisdom! I think what would help me...would be a husband who is more willing to DO more around the house and actually take care of the kids from time to time, instead I always feel like Im going to OVERLOAD! It would also be nice to have family around or even FRIENDS (I cant seem to make any of those!)I think you just have to dig deep and get to the root of all these feelings. I also want want want...(as Richard says) I want a nicer house, a new car, nice clothes, even!! I know there are people completely without these things and I SHOULD be grateful...but I cant seem to help myself!
Oh Cassie, we sound SOOO much alike!! If only we didn't live so far away! My husband sounds like yours. He works long hours, then does nothing to help around the house or with the kids!
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