Happy Halloween!........kind of

Well, the kids all slept great last night, I didn't hear a sound out of any of them, we put the humidifier in their room before they went to bed, so I think that definitely helped! Then even slept in an hour later than usual, but when they did wake up, and I went into their room, there were 2 cribs full of puke, and 2 puke covered kids :( All my hopes and plans for the day were dashed, just like that!
I had to bath Cole right away, he had it in his hair and everything! Poor Kadance looked like she was on deaths doorstep! I got her changed, and she was just like a rag doll, totally listless and pale, so I got her laying on the couch with a bucket, and she proceeded to throw up a few more times throughout the morning. I put them all down for a nap early, and Cole only slept for an hour and woke up crying and cranky, so I brought him out and he layed on my chest on the couch while the others still napped. When the others woke up, Kadance was doing MUCH better, she actually looked alive, and was hungry and thirsty! I finally went and layed Cole back down, cause all he wanted to do was lay on me, meaning I couldn't do anything else!
Unfortunately, our plans of taking everyone out trick-or-treating are going to have to change. I think I will take out Jade and possibly Hayden, and Gairod will stay home with the other two and hand out candy. I am totally disappointed that they have to be sick on Halloween, I was really looking forward to taking them out in their cute costumes :(

Not a good week...

This week has not been a good week health-wise for the kids. Last weekend, all the babies got colds, so they have had runny, stuffy noses, and have been extra cranky. On Monday, Cole had diarrhea a few times, including once where I had to strip him down and bath him, because it was everywhere. On Tuesday, all the babies were still runny nosed and cranky, and Cole didn't look good from the moment he got up. He sat in his highchair, and didn't touch his breakfast. He was very pale, even his lips had no color. He was gaging a bit in his highchair, and I just had a feeling he was going to throw up, so I called my mother-in-law to take Jade to school for me, and sure enough, just as they were about to leave, Cole threw up. He was very lethargic, and just wanted to be held, for the rest of the day. On Wednesday, Cole had diarrhea again, and I had to strip him and bath him just as I was about to get everyone out the door to take Jade to school, he was still off all day, not eating much, just wanting to cuddle. Last night, at around 11:30pm, Kadance all of a sudden wakes up, crying and struggling to breath. I have never actually heard croup before, but I knew right away that that is exactly what it was. Gairod calmed her down, and she went back to sleep for a bit, but woke up several more times throughout the night, barking and crying, so needless to say, we got very little sleep last night. Today, I let the little ones sleep in, and woke them up just before we had to take Jade to school. Poor Kadance was so croupy, I was going to call the Dr as soon as they opened, and try to get her in. I fed the kids breakfast, and still Cole didn't eat much, and was very lethargic and just wanted to be held. They all STILL have colds, and Cole has thrown up 3 times so far today, and hardly eaten or drank anything. Kadance is sounding much better, so I didn't end up taking her in, but from what I have read about croup, she is very likely to have trouble again tonight, and it is very contagious, so the others are at high risk to get it.

Today is Jades 'Halloween Parade' at school, where they all dress up and parade around the school and into the gym, where all the parents can see them. I was planning on dressing up the little kids and going, but with Cole puking, and Kadance being contagious, I figured I better stay home. I feel horrible. Jade always gets let down because of the babies. She is such a trouper though, this morning I told her that we might not be able to come, and she said to me "That's okay mom, the important thing is to get the babies healthy" I almost cried when she said that. She gives up and misses out on SOOO much because of them, it is not fair, but she is so mature about it.

I am exhausted. Being up at night with sick kids, and having Cole attached to me all day, as well as the other needing attention too, is very tiring. I feel like I have gotten absolutely NOTHING accomplished this week, which just adds to my list of stuff to do next week. I just want all my kids to hurry up and get healthy, and life to get back to normal.

Bath Time :)

Can you believe I have hardly any pictures of the kids in the bath?! I hate when I get so wrapped up in the busy-ness of life that I forget to stop and enjoy the moments. So a couple evenings ago, I decided to slow down, and take some picture of the little kids in the tub :)

Cole

Hayden

Kadance

Week 3

Well, today was my weigh-in for week 3, and I am down 1 1/2 pounds. I really would have liked it to be a little more, but I guess some is better than none, right?! That puts me at a total of 7 1/2 pounds in 3 weeks. Even if the scale isn't exactly doing what I want it to, I am definitely feeling better, so I will keep at it, and hopefully keep losing! I don't know if I will hit my goal, (20 pounds in 8 weeks) but I will keep trying!

On a better note, it is starting to look like I might actually ovulate this month, (I am over a week past the time I usually ovulate) so I will cross my fingers and pray that I do, and we get pregnant! A girl can dream, can't she?!

Halloween house and Cupcakes!

Jade and I had a very productive day today, despite all the babies being sick and cranky with a cold, and Gairod working all day!

Jade loves to go to Michael's (a craft store) and pick out a craft kit each season!
This is the Halloween house we made today!


















For whatever reason, the last few days, I have really felt like decorating cupcakes!
So today, Jade and I made some cupcakes and decorated them!

I'm really not a negative person.......

For anyone that happens to read my blog, I just want you to know, I'm really not a negative person! I just find that it really helps me, to get my thoughts out. If I walk around holding everything in, it starts to eat away at me. If I get my issues out on paper (or in typing!) it helps me to let go of those feelings, and move on! So I hope you all don't think I am a big downer, cause I'm really not :)

Where do I fit in?

Sometimes I feel so lonely, and like I don't really have any friends, because I don't really "fit in" with anyone. Jade is almost 6 1/2. Most of the other moms at school are around 10 years older than me, and live in the "nice" part of town, so we have a hard time relating to each other. Most of the other people in town that are around my age, are just starting their families, so they only have one baby/toddler, and again, can't really relate to me, since I have an older child and 3 toddlers! It's just so hard sometimes, feeling like I don't really have any friends. I feel so isolated sitting at home all the time, but it is hard and boring to go out by myself. With winter just around the corner, I know it is going to get worse, the weather is already starting to get colder, making it harder to bundle everyone up and leave the house. I really wish I had a good friend that lived across the street or something, someone I could get together with often for play dates, another adult to talk to during the day.

I have decided it is time for me to lower my expectations. I have been married for just over 3 years, and almost the entire time, I have been trying to mold Gairod into the husband I want him to be, instead of just accepting him for who he is.
Gairod has always been very social, very active, and LOVES the outdoors, pretty much the opposite of me! He plays hockey, volleyball and baseball, he hunts, camps and fishes. He likes getting together with friends, and having people over for dinner.
I prefer to stay inside, and would rather go on a date with my husband than out with other people. I don't play any sports, and my only activity is scrapbooking, unless you count shopping, but even then, I ALWAYS have the kids with me!
Every weekend, I am disappointed, because I want Gairod to spend more time with me and the kids. He is usually working, but if he isn't, he often wants to go hunting or fishing. I always end up mad, because I don't get a break, and I feel like he doesn't want to spend time with us.
I have decided that instead of dwelling on all the time he DOESN'T spend with us, I should be grateful for the time he DOES spend with us, even if it isn't as much as I would like. Maybe if I'm not always trying to force him to spend more time with us, it won't seem like such a chore, and he will want to spend more time with us. Plus, if I don't EXPECT him to be here on weekends, than it will be a nice surprise when he is.

Smells like......

I think it is so crazy how a smell can totally take you back to another place and time! I love the way different scents remind me of different things!
I have a Glade Plug-in Noticables in the babies room. (with the amount of diapers in their garbage each day, an air freshener is a necessity!) I just put a new scent in it a few days ago, and it totally reminds me of when Jade was a baby! I must have had the same scent of air freshener in my room when Jade was little, because every time I go into the triplets room, I feel like I am back in time, when Jade was a little baby, and life was so much simpler........

Flashback Fridays!

Okay, so I TOTALLY stole this idea from someone else's blog (I just changed the name and day!) But I think it is a great idea, and they say that imitation is the sincerest form or flattery, so.....
Every Friday, I will have "Flashback Friday", where I will post a picture (or a couple pictures) that are at least a year old. It is so neat to look back and see how much people (especially children) change!
So here are my pictures for today! These were taken a year ago, when the babies were 7 months old! I can't believe how little they look! It makes me sad to think that my babies are growing up, and they really aren't babies anymore :(

Never good Enough

Why do I never feel good enough? I never feel like a good enough wife, I never feel like a good enough mother. I never feel like a good enough friend, or sister. I never feel like my house is clean enough, or our yard is nice enough. I always feel like everyone else is so much better than me. Why can't I just be happy with my life, and with who I am?

Tired of the Drama!!

I am tired of toxic people taking up my time and stressing me out! Lately I have been trying to fill my life with positive people who 'bring me up', and trying to avoid negative people who 'bring me down'. I don't have very many friends, but I would rather have a few GOOD friends, than a bunch of superficial, stab-you-in-the-back friends! My life is busy enough with 4 young kids, I don't need to be dragged into needless drama!

Cole :)

Cole is our high-maintenance child, always has been, right from birth! I sometimes call him a Drama Queen, because he is the first one to laugh about something, but also the first one to cry! He is the biggest of the three, always has been, staying steady around the 50th percentile. He is a very needy child, that loves to cuddle, and sit in your lap. All day he is a Mommy's boy, but as soon as Daddy walks through the door, he only want him, and will cry until Daddy picks him up!

What's going on now?

Okay, I am feeling a lot better today about the whole Gairod/Vegas thing! I knew it would help just to get my feelings out. We talked last night, and I feel better about things!



Now to figure out my messed up cycles! I am so frustrated! I am on cd (cycle day) 18 today, which for me is typically my ovulation day, but instead I have been spotting for the past 3 days!! What the heck is going on?? Why can't I just have a normal working body like everyone else??
I know I said I wasn't going to stress over getting pregnant, and I am trying really hard not to, but it is hard when things aren't working the way they should be! I wouldn't wish fertility issues on ANYONE! It is so hard when you want a baby so badly, and it just doesn't happen. I am sure some of you reading this are probably rolling your eyes at me, and thinking I should be grateful for the 4 healthy kids that I already have, and I AM very grateful for them, but that doesn't erase the desire for another one, and only someone who desires a large family can really understand how I feel!

Just need to vent!

There really isn't much point to this post, I just really need to get my feelings out. I mentioned before that Gairod was in Vegas this past weekend, but I never elaborated on it. That is because I was against it. A friend of Gairods is getting married in November, and Gairod is in the wedding party. One of the other guys in the wedding party, wanted them all to go to Vegas for the stag. I should mention that neither of the other guys are married or have any kids. I said no way, we don't have the money to waste, and in my opinion, it isn't very appropriate for a married man with 4 kids to go to Vegas with the guys! At first Gairod didn't really want to go either, but then he decided that he was going to go. I was mad. We haven't even been on a honeymoon, because we paid for our wedding ourselves, and didn't have the money to go on a trip right away. I want to re-develop our basement, but Gairods biggest excuse is that we don't have the money right now. Funny, he has no problem finding the money to do something HE wants to do!
I love my husband, and I trust him. I know he would NEVER cheat on me, or do anything he knows I wouldn't approve of, but I DON'T trust his "friends". I say "friends" because he is really only friends with the groom. The other 2 guys that went, we went to high school with, and they still haven't grown up. I KNEW they would be going to the strippers, and getting lap dances and everything else, hence the reason I didn't want Gairod to go! They call Las Vegas "Sin City" for a reason.
I am mad that he didn't seem to care enough about me to respect my wishes and not go. He said he "had" to, for his friend. What about your wife? Do you not care what she wants?
He says he didn't get any lap dances, and I believe him. But they did go to the strippers, and that bugs me. I do not, never have, and never will, have the body of a stripper. I don't want him seeing me naked, and comparing me to some skank who takes off her clothes for a living! I have tons of stretch marks and extra skin (carrying triplets to almost 35 weeks will do that to you!) and I am self-conscious enough about my body, I don't need more reason to feel worse about myself.
So he gets home yesterday, and spends like 2 hours giving me a play-by-play of their weekend. There were a few REALLY sketchy things, that I am not even going to get into, because they didn't directly involve Gairod, but one of the other guys, just further reason I didn't want him going!
He is so tired from his long weekend, that he goes to bed at 9pm. Actually first he fell asleep on the couch at around 8pm, woke up at 9pm, gets up and says "I'm going to bed" and off he goes. I haven't seen him in 3 nights, and was really hoping to have sex last night, I missed him, and needed to feel like he still loves me, especially after spending a weekend in Vegas looking at strippers. I realize he was tired, but so was I! I spent the whole weekend alone, looking after the kids, with no break! If he wanted to have sex, he could have asked me to come to bed with him, but obviously he wasn't interested. I am also mad because I should be ovulating soon, so I was counting on having sex last night to increase our chances of conceiving.
I am so angry right now, but somehow I need to let it all go, and move on. It's all in the past now, Gairod didn't do anything bad, but for some reason it still bugs me.

TTMAC Halloween Party!!

Yesterday I took the kids to the TTMAC (Twins, Triplets and More Association of Calgary) Halloween Party!! I was so excited to get to dress them all up in their costumes, especially since this may be the only time they even get to wear them! I haven't decided whether or not we will take the little ones out trick-or-treating this year, we will see!

Hayden dressed as a "Pea Pod"
Cole dressed as a "Pea Pod"
Kadance dressed as a "Pea Pod"
Jade dressed as "Princess Genevieve" from Barbie Princess and the Pauper
Jade decorating a cookie!

Babies watching!

Triplets playing

TRYING to get a nice picture of them all!

2 Weeks

I am a little frustrated today. It has been two weeks now, so I weighed myself this morning....................and NOTHING!! I haven't lost a single pound!!! I am trying to remind myself that on "The Biggest Loser" they always talk about how week 2 is notoriously the worst week for weight loss. Your body is in shock, and kind of shuts down. I really feel that I ate okay this week, of course it could have been better, but it wasn't terrible! I also exercised 4 days this week, one up from last week!
I am not going to dwell on it, I am going to try and look at the positive, the fact that at least I didn't gain! I still have my 6 pound loss from last week, so that is good! I will keep on going, and try to eat a little better this week, and hopefully see a loss!

Peek-A-Boo!

Kadance playing "Peek-a-boo" with Jade!

Mmmmm Cookies!

This afternoon, Jade and I made some chocolate chip cookies!!

The little ones wanted in on the action too!

Ready for the oven!

The finished product!

I really want to start baking more. I am sure it will save us money, and homemade stuff HAS to be healthier than store bought snacks for the kids. The only thing is, when I bake, I want to eat the stuff too! lol! NOT good for my weight loss plan!

On My Own

Gairod left yesterday for Vegas for 4 days, for a friends stag. My feelings on this are a total different story, and I really don't feel like getting into it right now.
So anyways, I am on my own until Sunday. It's not really a big deal, since I am on my own a lot of the time anyways, but I like knowing that Gairod will be home sometime in the evening, and having him in bed next to me at night! I am lonely! I give a lot of credit to women who's husbands work out of town, and are left on their own for weeks at a time, I don't know if I could do it!

Slowly making progress!

I just finished cleaning out the cupboard under the bathroom sink! Yay! There was a bunch of stuff under there, that whenever I clean it out, I always put it back and think "we MIGHT need this one day". Well today, I threw it all out! lol! If we haven't used it in the 2 years we have been in this house, chances are we aren't going to use it! I feel so good after cleaning stuff out - weird, I know - but it's like a weight is lifted off of me!

On the weekend, Gairod and I cleaned out our deep freezes. That was another HUGE accomplishment. We have 2 deep freezes, and since Gairod hunts and fishes, they are both usually pretty full! One of them needed to be defrosted VERY badly, so we went through them both, and got rid of 1 1/2 large garbage bags of stuff that was old, freezer burnt, or we didn't even know what it was! lol! Now I feel like I actually know what we have for meat, and can plan my meals accordingly!

Last night, I went through the babies toys, and got rid of a bunch of the really baby ones, like rattles and teethers. I got rid of 2 small garbage bags of stuff, but you really wouldn't even know it, since we still have WAY too many toys! I am going to give most of them to my sister who is expecting, and I will keep a few favorites, for when we hopefully have baby #5!

Housework

Now that I feel in control of my eating and exercising, I really want to get my house under control! I have really been struggling in this area. I can't seem to find the time to do basic cleaning (bathroom, floors, dusting) let alone deep cleaning and re-organizing! It is driving me crazy! I am really a "clean" person at heart, but sometimes my house will go for weeks without the floors being cleaned!!
This past weekend, I decided to try something new. I got Gairod to take all the kids out of the house for an hour (I would have liked 2 hours, but that would have been pushing it!) and I cleaned the bathroom and all floors. It was so much easier to clean in peace and quiet, and not trying to work around kids! I would love to be able to do this once a week, but with Gairod's inconsistent weekend schedule, I know this is not possible. So I am hoping to find someone else (maybe my mom?) who would take them all for a couple hours, once a week. Then maybe our house could actually get cleaned on a regular basis!

1 Week

I have finished one week of eating healthier and exercising more, and I have lost......... 6 lbs!!!!! I am SOOOO happy! I was hoping to lose 2-3, I never imagined 6! So I have decided to set a short term goal for myself. After 8 weeks, I would like to be down 20 lbs. That means for the next 7 weeks, I need to lose 2 lbs a week. I think this is definitely doable, I just need to stick to my plan!

Happy Thanksgiving :)

Happy Thanksgiving everyone!
This year, I really have a lot to be thankful for! I have 4 beautiful, healthy children, a loving husband, who puts up with my moodiness and need to control! I have a few good friends, who are always there to listen to whatever I need to talk about, I have many extended family members, who I enjoy being close to. I have a house, food in the pantry, money in the bank, and way too much stuff! I have freedom. The freedom to be a stay-at-home-mom, the freedom to have the children I want to have, the freedom to feel safe in my own home, in my own country. I really have A LOT to be thankful for, and I am truly grateful :)

Good News!

I had my Dr appointment today to find out the results of my ultrasound and blood work.
I do have a cyst, but it is small and "the good kind". Also, according to my progesterone levels, I DID ovulate this past month. So both of those are good news! Basically we have to just keep trying!!
I feel so relieved knowing that everything seems to be okay, and that as of now, there is no reason that we can't do this naturally!

So far, so good!

So far, I am doing good with my goals to eat better, exercise, and simplify!

I am onto day 3 of eating healthy and exercising, and things are going well. Not perfect, but I am not striving for perfection, since I know that is unrealistic!

I have decided to not try so hard to get pregnant these next 2 months, since I am not too keen on a July or August baby, so I am hoping to use this time to get a handle on my weight so that if a do get pregnant a few months from now, I will be at a healthier weight to start!

I have also simplified my role of Triplet Support for TTMAC. I have been very stressed about this lately because I was trying to do more than I need to. I was contemplating quitting, but after talking to one of the co-presidents, I have realized that I don't need to do ALL that the past Triplet Support coordinators have done.

Now I just need to get my house in order, and things will be on the right track!

Starting NOW!!

Okay, I weighed myself this morning, and I was originally planning on posting my weight on here, but I can't. I am so embarrassed by the number. I will say that I am 45 pounds higher than I would like to be!! So today I have started my new weight-loss/exercising routine. I will update every week, and hopefully lose the weight I need to lose!

A new awakening

Being a bridesmaid in a wedding this weekend, has really made me open my eyes and realize that I am NOT happy with my weight. I was totally the "fat" bridesmaid, and uncomfortable about it the whole time. Looking at pictures, I am disgusted with how I look, and have decided that I HAVE to do something about it. Tomorrow morning I will weight myself, and start eating healthier, and exercising more.

Home!

We are home, YAY! :)
Unfortunately our "weekend away" wasn't as relaxing as I was hoping it would be! We were up late Friday night, and I started my period. Just what I needed when I had to be in a wedding the next day! Saturday morning I was up early, and had to be at the hair dressers for 8am. I had a headache that got worse and worse all day, and by the time we were done pictures and driving around in the limo, I felt sick to my stomach because my head was hurting so bad! It was awful!! When we got to the reception my stomach started to feel better, but my poor head was still pounding! I felt like such a downer, all I wanted to do was go back to the hotel and go to bed! After taking a million Tylenol, my head finally started to feel a bit better, and we ended up staying at the reception until about 11:30pm. This morning we got up fairly early, ate breakfast, and started home. I was missing my kids, and really wanted to get home to them :)

Weekend Away!

This afternoon, Gairod and I are leaving for a weekend away! Actually, we are going up to Viking, because I am a bridesmaid in an old friends wedding. Neither of us are really looking forward to it, we don't know anyone but the bride, and I am not looking forward to squeezing my fat into a dress and standing up in front of everyone - I will be the "fat bridesmaid" since the others are all very slim. The only good thing is that we aren't taking the kids, they are spending the weekend at Grandma's house, so at least we will get a bit of a break!

Kadance :)

Kadance is a little sweetie! She is, and always has been, the smallest of the three, staying consistently in the 3rd percentile for height and weight. But she definitely does not let her small size stop her! She has done almost everything "first", before her brothers. She is full of energy, and is an awesome eater! She has a very smart, inquisitive mind, and is always trying to figure things out!

Scrapbooking!

I got together last night with a friend and fellow triplet mom, to do some scrapbooking and chatting :) It was so nice to be able to chat without being interrupted every few seconds by a child! We have decided that we are going to make this a frequent thing, and try to get together every week or two, to chat a scrapbook!