Remembering Scott

It was exactly 8 years ago today, that my whole world was shattered, never to be the same again.

I vividly remember waking up to the sound of my mother's blood-curdling screams. I jumped out of bed, my heart pounding, ran down the hall, and I saw my brother's life-less body in his room. I will NEVER forget that day, that day changed my life, forever.

I was 17 years old, he was 15. We were never very close, both into different things. I was interested in partying, and my friends, he was very smart, and loved sports. I didn't really know what was going on in his life, didn't really care. That is something I will forever regret....

My brother hung himself, December 12th, 2000, in his room, right down the hall from mine, while the rest of us slept. I never knew true pain and despair, until that day. It is forever etched into my memory, and has forever tainted the Christmas season.

That Christmas was the worst Christmas of my life. I didn't feel like celebrating, I was tired from the nightmares that plagued me every night.

Now it is 8 years later. I am 25 years old, with a loving husband and 4 beautiful children. I like Christmas, in fact, I LOVE Christmas. I refuse to let my brother's death ruin Christmas forever. This time of year is a very bitter-sweet time of year. The joy and magic of the Christmas season, but also the underlying sorrow of a brother no longer here.

So on this day, I will try and remember all the good memories of my brother, and not that one horrible day, that ended his life.