Thank You

I want to take a minute to thank everyone who read and commented on my last post. I was having a crappy weekend. Reading your comments brought tears to my eyes. Knowing that others care and understand really means a lot to me.! THANK YOU!!!

I feel like I should further explain my frustration, now that I am a bit more calm about it! lol!

There are certain things that Gairod and I don't see eye-to-eye on. I suppose these are things we should have discussed BEFORE we got married and started having kids, but we didn't, so now we have to figure them out as we go along. Gairod is a very social, and active person. I am quite happy at home with my family. This causes us problems. He plays baseball, volleyball, hockey, fishes, and hunts. All of these activities can cause him to be out of the house SEVERAL times a week (depending on what time of year it is, and which things are over-lapping) and many weekends. We argue quite often about the fact that I am stuck at home looking after the kids by myself, while he is off having fun with his friends. His solution is that I can bring the kids and come watch. Yeah, right! Have you tried keeping three 2-year-olds happy and out of trouble for an entire baseball game?? It's NOT easy, ESPECIALLY when you are 9 months pregnant!! His other solution, is for me to find some activities of my now. That sounds great in theory, but in reality, if he is out of the house several nights a week, how am I supposed to be out of the house too?? We can't afford, nor do I want, to get a babysitter all the time. Plus, to be quite honest, at the end of a busy day, I don't really WANT to go out and do something, I just want to relax at home!

For the most part, I don't complain about the evening activities. The kids are in bed, and I just want to relax on the computer or the couch, so if he wants to go out and play a sport, it is usually fine with me. I DON'T like when he has to leave before bath time, because right now especially, it is hard and tiring for me to bath them all myself.

Weekends are what I have a problem with. To me, weekends should be family time. Yes, sometimes Gairod has to work on a weekend, and as much as I don't like it, I try to grin and bare it, because right now especially, we need him to get all the work he can! But when he is not working, I want him to be home spending time and helping, with the kids! ESPECIALLY right now! I am sore, I am tired, and I NEED help these last few weeks! I spend all day everyday looking after the kids. I am not complaining, because that is what I like and want to do! But day after day of nothing but the same old routine with 2-year-olds can definitely take it's toll on a person! I like being able to do something "different" on the weekends. Going out for breakfast, taking the kids swimming, pretty much ANYTHING that gets us out of the house, and I don't have to deal with things by myself. This helps to give me strength and re-energize me for the next week.

SO my problem this weekend, was that Gairod was in a baseball tournament. He played Friday evening - fine. He worked Saturday morning, and then played two games in the afternoon. Sunday, he was playing in the morning, so suggested that the kids and I come out and watch. I didn't really want to, because I KNEW it would be more work than fun, but I agreed, since I also knew that if we didn't go to ball, we probably wouldn't get out of the house.

Before the game even started, the kids were already causing trouble, because THEY wanted to play ball with daddy, and didn't understand that they had to stay off the field while the adults played! So I spent the entire game chasing and disciplining kids - lots of fun! It was noon when the game was over, and Gairod's team didn't play again until almost 2pm. So I asked if he was coming home between games (the tournament was in Madden, and tiny village about 10-15 min away). He said that no, there wasn't really any point in him coming home between games. So right away, I was pissed off, because it was past lunch time and the kids were cranky. I thought he could come home, and help get the kids lunch and down for a nap, and then head back out to the ball diamond. Plus, we had taken one vehicle out there, so me leaving with the kids, meant that he didn't have a vehicle, and would have to get a ride home with someone. So I was pissed when I left, and he knew it. He called later in the afternoon and left a message (I was still mad, so I didn't answer the phone) saying that they had won their game and were playing again. So I had to get the kids supper, bath them, and get them into bed, all by myself. Gairod didn't get home until after 8pm. I was NOT happy. In fact I didn't say a word to him for the rest of the evening, and only said a few words to him this morning before he left for work.

I just wish we had the same priorities when it comes to spending time with family. I feel like when he has the option of staying home and helping me out, or going out and doing something fun for him, he ALWAYS picks something fun for him. He doesn't think about my feelings, or the fact that the kids want to see him (they screamed and cried the entire way home from the ball diamond, because they wanted daddy to come with us), he just thinks about what HE wants to do. He always says that when the kids are older, he can bring them with him, and do these activities with the kids, but I keep trying to tell him that if he doesn't spend time with the kids right NOW, they won't want to spend time with him later!

So that is why I was so upset yesterday. Like I said, I KNOW we should have discussed this stuff BEFORE having kids, but we didn't, so all we can do now is try and figure out the best way to deal with it.