Pain.

I am in so much pain, I want to cry.

Nursing hurts SO BAD right now, that I hate it.

But what I hate even more, is that I don't even know *for sure* what is wrong, so I don't know if what I am doing to try to heal it, is even helping.

As of Friday, I now have open sores on my nipples. Yes, you read that right open sores. And how do you think open sores feel when a baby sucks on them?! Let me tell you: NOT GOOD!!!

I have used Gentian Violet for 3 days now, tonight will be my 4th day. I really don't know if it is helping. I guess the deep pain is gone, but now the sores on my nipples hurt SO much, that nursing really isn't feeling any better. So yesterday I bought some Lansinoh nipple cream. I am hoping that it will help to heal the sores.

I put a call into La Leche League tonight, and I am hoping they will get back to me tomorrow, and at the very least be able to point me in the direction of a lactation consultant, or confirm/deny my self diagnosis of thrush.

I just want the pain to go away. I want to enjoy nursing again. My mom suggested weaning, since I was originally planning on weaning soon anyways, but I REFUSE to end on a bad note!! But honestly, the pain is SO bad, that I don't know how much longer I can take it. :(