I can feel the baby!!!

Yay!! I can finally feel the baby moving!! For the last few day I have *thought* I could feel it a few times, but was never quite sure. It totally depends on how I am sitting, if that makes any sense! But right now, sitting at the computer, I know for SURE that I am feeling the baby! I am so happy! I LOVE the feeling of a tiny baby moving inside me, it makes it all seem so much more REAL!

Going on a Trip!

This weekend, Gairod and I are leaving on a mini vacation! We are going Sturgeon fishing, in Mission BC! We leave Sunday, drive all day, fish Monday and Tuesday, then drive home on Wednesday. Gairod's mom is going to stay at our house and look after the kids for us, so it will be a nice, kid-free, getaway!!

I am excited to get away, but also nervous about leaving the kids. We have left them before, but never for more than 2-3 days. I guess 4 is only one more, but still, it seems like so long!

I always say how much I want a vacation, just to get away for some peace and quiet, but when it actually comes down to it, I love my kids, and I like being with them! I always start to miss them shortly after leaving! Not to mention the fact that I never know what to do with the down time! lol! If I was at home at least I could get some stuff done, but when we are in a hotel I have no idea what to do! lol!

Just to clarify....

I really hope I didn't offend anyone with my post about boobs yesterday! I don't want to seem like some weirdo pervert who is obsessed with boobs, I'm really not!


The point of my post was that I am actually happy with a part of my body right now! In general, I hate my body. I have never been skinny. I have never had a flat stomach. I have never had nice, big, perky boobs!

When I got pregnant with Jade, at 18, I gained 56lbs, and got TONS of stretch marks. So by the ripe old age of 19, my body was already ruined, never to be seen in a bikini!

The triplets stretched out my stomach so bad, that I will forever have sagging skin, and nothing short of a tummy tuck can fix it.

When I am pregnant is the only time I actually like my body. My boobs fill out, and it is okay for my stomach to stick out! So again, I didn't mean to sound like a weirdo, I was just expressing my happiness with finally liking something about my body!

Boobs

Okay, I debated whether or not to actually post this, since it is a "too much information" kind of topic, but then I decided what the hell! It's my blog, I can post what I want! lol!

In general, I don't like my boobs. They are too small, and deflated. But when I am pregnant or nursing, I love them!! They actually seem to get bigger with each pregnancy, and STAY a bit bigger! I told Gairod we need to have a couple more kids, just to see how big my boobs can get! LOL!

Seriously though, before Jade, I was a small B. When I was pregnant with her I went up to a large B or small C. When I was nursing her, I was a large C. The best part is, after I finished nursing her (at 8 months), I never went back down to a B!! I stayed a small C.
When I was pregnant with the triplets, I went up to a D. When I was pumping for them, I was a DD. After I finished pumping (at 3.5 months) I went down to a large C.
With this pregnancy I am already into a DD. I am very interested to see what I am when I am nursing, and what I go back down to after!

18 week ultrasound

Yesterday I had my 18 week ultrasound! Everything looks good, baby is measuring perfectly, and moving around (although I still haven't felt it yet!!). Unfortunately, this is the only half decent picture I have! I went to a new ultrasound place in Airdrie, and they give you a CD of pictures for free. Well, there were only 5 pictures on it, 4 of which were weird pictures of an arm!! So I am not very impressed with them, and if I have to have any more ultrasounds done, I will go back to Calgary!! BUT, as long as everything continues to go well, I probably won't have any more, so this is it until I get to meet my baby in late September!!

3rd Prenatal Appointment!

Today I had my third prenatal appointment. I will be 18 weeks tomorrow! The Dr said my blood pressure has been creeping up a little bit, so they will keep an eye on it, but it is probably nothing. My weight gain is good, according to the Dr I have gained 6lbs so far (I have been weighing myself weekly at home and according to my weights it's 5lbs), so that is good! I am REALLY hoping to keep my weight gain to a minimum, and so far this is the slowest I have gained out of all three of my pregnancies! We heard the heart beat, it was 147 bpm.

Tomorrow I go for my 18 week ultrasound! This will probably be my last ultrasound :(
No, we are NOT going to find out the sex, we want it to be a surprise! But if I had to guess, I would say it is probably a boy!

I really am feeling quite good at this point in my pregnancy! My only complaint is my sciatic nerve. It has bothered my off and on for almost 7 years now, but it seems to bug me much more during pregnancy. Any time I do a lot of walking (mall, zoo, hike) I am in a lot of pain for the rest of the day/evening and sometimes even the next day. It really is quite a nuisance, since I am really wanting to try and stay active throughout this pregnancy, especially since a lot of it will be through Spring and Summer. I am considering going to a chiropractor, to see if that will help, but we really don't have the extra money to waste on that, so I don't know.....

Anyways, the Dr said that I seem to be on the path to an uneventful, uncomplicated, normal, pregnancy! That is exactly what I wanted to hear :)

Big Hill Springs Hike!

Since Gairod is away, and it was fairly nice out today, I called my mom up this morning to see if she wanted to go out and do something! My sister suggested we all go out to Big Hill Springs provincial park, and walk around and enjoy the weather. So that's what we did! The only thing is, I didn't realize how long the hike is, and it was very muddy, wet, snowy, and icy. It took us over an hour and a half, and it was a lot of up and down hills. The kids did AMAZINGLY well, considering how treacherous the terrain was! When we were finally done, we drove the short 10 minutes into Cochrane for some ice cream! By the time we finally got home, the kids and I were all exhausted!

In the van, ready to go!

Starting on our hike!

Grandma showing the kids the creek

Stopping for a little rest on a bench

Linen Closet

I FINALLY cleaned out the bottom of the linen closet! That had been the next thing on my Spring cleaning list, that I haven't gotten to in a while! I have just been overwhelmed lately with everything that there is to do! I realize that we have too much stuff, and I am trying my best to get rid of whatever I can, but we also just don't have enough space! There are 6 of us (soon to be 7!) living in a 900sf, 3 bedroom, 1 bathroom, house! It is hard trying to jam 6 peoples toiletries, towels, sheets, etc, into one small linen closet and one small bathroom. I can only get rid of so much stuff, and the rest we actually need!

I have also been trying to clean out and pack up the basement, so that Gairod can start working on it. EVERYTHING needs to be out, because he is going to be tearing down all the walls, and basically re-doing everything! AND this all needs to be done before September, when the baby comes!

So that's basically what I've been doing lately, trying to get a little bit of everything done. I also REALLY want to tackle Jade's room, since it is getting unbearable! I was hoping to get some stuff done this weekend, but now Gairod is going away to help his friend Dave set up bear camp, so I will be on my own for the whole weekend :(

Am I a Bad Mom?

Sometimes I wonder if I am a bad mom. Jade was whining and complaining this morning because she never gets to have friends over. It's true, she never does get to have friends over, because it is a pain and an inconvenience to me. First of all, none of her friends live near by, so that means I have to pack up all the kids and drive to go get or drop off a friend. Second of all, we don't really have much space for them to play. Jade's room is a constant mess and totally cluttered with way too much stuff. The basement is okay, but is often times a mess if I take the little ones down there and don't get around to cleaning it up. And, it has been too cold/wet/mucky for them to play outside.

I also feel bad because I feel like lately all the triplets do is watch tv. I turn on the tv first thing in the morning, and it pretty much stays on all day. To be honest, I want them to watch tv so that they will hopefully leave me alone for a few minutes so that I can TRY to get some stuff done around the house. But in reality, it usually doesn't work. They then whine because they want me to sit on the couch and watch with them! I never do playdough or coloring or crafts with them, because it is too messy, and a pain in the ass for me. Yes, I realize I am a terrible mom.

The other thing I do too much with all of them, is I give in. I always said that I would never be one of those parents who gives their kid what they want just because they are crying, but I am ashamed to admit that that is who I have become. I feel like all day, every day, I am listening to whining and crying and fighting. So often times if I can make them stop by turning on the tv show they want, or giving them the extra snack they want, or letting Jade watch the movie she wants, then I do it, just for a little peace and quiet.

Sometimes I feel like I am just selfish, and I need to sacrifice more for my kids. I chose to have them, so I need to do everything I can to make their life a great experience. Basically, sometimes I just feel like a really crappy mom :(

Cleaning and Dieting

I have come the realization that cleaning is a lot like dieting for me. I really want the end result, but I don't want to do all the work it takes to get there! LOL!

Seriously though, why do I find it so hard to stay motivated?? I really want to be a good housewife and mother, but I really don't like doing many of the things those jobs entail! I don't like to cook, I don't mind baking, but don't do it often because then I just have more mess to clean up, I don't like to clean, but I want a clean and tidy house!

I think with cleaning, I always feel like it is such a big waste of time! I can clean all day, and my house will be a mess again the next day (if not sooner!), so it just seems pointless!

So in case you haven't already noticed, I have been slacking off on my Spring cleaning the last few days. It is seriously like dieting for me; I do good for the first few days, and then I lose motivation and fall off the wagon! I feel like I just don't have the time to do EVERYTHING! The days I was doing my Spring cleaning, I wasn't doing my regular cleaning. Now for the last few days I have been doing my regular cleaning, but not my Spring cleaning. I need a few more hours in each day, and whole lot more energy!!

I have great visions in my head of how I want my house to be, but it just seems like it will take so much time and work to get it there. I need to refocus, and stay motivated, and finish what I have started.