I feel like I am on the edge of a cliff, and trying to decide whether or not to jump off.
I don't know if it is postpartum depression, winter blahs, or just me being overly dramatic. But whatever it is, I just want it to go away.
I just feel crappy. I have to force myself to get out of bed and start the day. I just want to sleep and forget about life for awhile. I don't want to make meals for the kids, do the dishes, do the laundry, do ANYTHING. I want to lay on the couch and waste the day away.
So far, I am still managing to do the basics, but it is a constant struggle. I have to force myself to do what I KNOW needs to be done.
I realize that I am majorly putting myself out there by typing all of this. I actually felt sick to my stomach after I posted "Drowning", and considered deleting it - a few times. But this is MY blog, and I NEED to get my feelings out. If you don't like it, don't read it. I don't want people to judge me, or think I am a psycho. I assure you I am not. I am just an ordinary mom, who is really struggling right now.
4 comments:
I hope you feel better! I suffer from depression. I am 6 months pg, and the winter always effects me bigtime. Usually I am on an antidepressant, but since im pg im not. I hope you feel better!
BTW I LOVE your blog and how honestl you are...I can really relate to your blog. I come here everyday hoping to see a new entry from you!
Michelle
Call your dr. What can it hurt? Try some meds for a bit to see if it helps. if not, you quit them! Don't wait to hit bottom.
Mira - I am planning on going to my Dr. I was going to try to go on Thursday, but he was all booked up, and they said he is gone all of next week. Go figure hey?! If I am still feeling bad when he is back, I will go.
Michelle - Thank you. Sometimes I think I am TOO honest on here, but I really don't care. This is my place to vent and get my feelings out.
Do I know you in "real life"?? You sound similar to someone I know, and now I am very curious as to who you are.......please email me if you feel comfortable. :)
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