Weight

Gaining weight in pregnancy has never really bugged me before, but with this one it is already bugging me, and I have only gained 2 pounds!!

Before I got pregnant with Jade, I weighted 135 lbs. That was a very good weight for me. I am 5'7, and have never been "skinny". I was 18 years old, and that was the skinniest I had ever been. When I delivered Jade, I weighed 191. That's right, I gained 56 lbs! I have NEVER gotten back down to 135 lbs. The closest I have ever come is 150, right around the time I got married.

By the time I got pregnant with the triplets, I was up to 182 lbs. I gained 30 lbs in a year. I think a lot of it had to do with the stress of trying to get pregnant, and being disappointed every month, so I would drown my sorrows in food. When I delivered the triplets, I weighed 250 lbs. Yeah, 250 lbs. That is HUGE! But I was okay with it, because I gained 68 lbs in my pregnancy, which is right on target for triplets (you are supposed to gain 50 - 75 lbs with triplets). All that mattered at that time was having big healthy babies!

My goal after the triplets was to get back down to 150 lbs. That would mean losing 100 lbs!! We weren't planning on having any more kids, so I wanted to try and get down to my goal weight. I figured if I could get down to 150, I could probably maintain it, and I would be happy with that weight. I dropped most of my pregnancy weight very quickly (with in the first few weeks!), and was down to my pre-pregnancy weight of 182 lbs, by 5 1/2 months postpartom. From there I struggled. I managed to get down to 175, but that was short lived, and I pretty much fluctuated between 180 - 190 for the next several months.

When I got pregnant with this baby, I weighed 189 lbs. In my opinion, too much. Even though it is only 7 lbs more then when I started my pregnancy with the triplets, it bugs me, because it is my highest starting weight. I am terrified to get into the 200's, although I know that realistically, I will. I will be 12 weeks tomorrow, and I have only gained 2 lbs so far. That is good for the first trimester.

I have NEVER worried about weight while pregnant before, but this time I feel like I am obsessing about it! I weight myself every week, and I feel a sense of panic when I see the number go up. Ultimately, I just want a healthy baby, but I can't seem to get over this fear of gaining weight! I know that I shouldn't worry about it, I am pregnant, I am supposed to gain weight. But for some reason, I can't seem to put it out of my mind!