Anyone who has read this blog for a while, knows that I have NOT wanted to be done having babies. Since my pregnancy with Sage, I have had my heart set on having just one more! ♥ Gairod however, has felt very done.
Several months ago, I started to entertain the idea of being done. What if we don't have another baby? What are some of the 'pros' to being done? For quite a while I was on the fence. I could see several good points to being done, but I also still had a major longing to be pregnant, give birth, and have a newborn baby - just one more time!
Lately however, I have started to feel more and more done. As Sage gets closer to 2 years old, she is becoming more independent. I like that she can play with the older kids now, miss the occasional nap, and is overall just more self sufficient. I am finally starting to find more time for myself - and I have really been enjoying my new found freedom!
I was originally hoping to have another baby by the time Sage was 2-2 1/2. Obviously that is not happening. Sage loves her older siblings, and she does her best to play with and keep up with them whenever she can. I am afraid if we had one more spaced too far apart, he/she would be left out, especially if it was a boy. We have tried, and/or left things to chance MANY times over the past 2 years, and have yet to end up pregnant, so I am really starting to feel like it just isn't meant to be. I have started to think about moving Kadance up with Sage once she is in a bed, so that the little girls could share a room, the boys would share a room, and Jade could have her own room. I am even starting to get the urge to start getting rid of baby stuff, which I have stored in the garage.
As I am starting to get more time for myself, starting to get control of my weight, and really starting to feel happy and content, I am really thinking we might be done having babies. I never thought I would feel this way, especially not before having number six, but I am, and it feels good. I will always have fond memories of the pregnancy and newborn stage, but I realize that at some point everyone has to move on, and I think it might be that time for us.
I haven't told Gairod any of this yet, as I want to sit on it a bit more, and make sure that I am really comfortable with being done. I know that once I tell him, there will be no going back! lol! :)
3 comments:
You're like my blog alter-ego! I go through a lot of the same things you do, it seems. I can accept being done too. I will always "not mind" the thought of being pregnant again, if that makes any sense, but I can actually focus on the positives now, instead of the sense of loss.
LOL about the alter-ego! :)
It makes total sense, I feel the same way. If I were to end up pregnant several months from now, I would be thrilled, but I will no longer expect, or plan to have any more kids. And I am at peace with that. :)
Oh, no! How can I be pregnant vicariously through you if you don't get pregnant again?! LOL! I don't have the option to get pregnant again so I've been doing the same sort of thing- looking at the pros and how much we can do now that we are officially out of the baby stage forever! I'm a little sad, but I do think it's for the best! I got rid of ALL our baby stuff so if we did ever end up pregnant again, we'd be in big trouble, lol!
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